On Anger And Being Pressure-Cooked

I've earlier expressed here how much I'm into Birdy's net diary/blog. Here are some excerpts of Birdy's recent net column on anger, freely translated from Finnish. I think she hits the nail on the head here, on the feelings of anger and how society sees it better to suppress them the best it can. There's a lot of latent violence in this society; a lot of people who live from day to day like being constantly pressure-cooked. Showing one's anger or aggression is not encouraged in most social situations, which is all good to maintain society's day-to-day consistence, but those feelings considered negative seem to be only swept away under the carpet, making the occasional outbursts of violence even worse. The ancient Greek used to hold as their maxim "Know thyself"; and one's dark side is also something we have to deal with, perhaps even more often than we realise. A lot of anger is childish, of course; undergoings of the feelings of hurt egos, but there is also anger that is justified: in the face of unfair social situations and one's being subjected power games; in the face of oppression and unequality.

"Being angry does not make anyone a Satanic hound of darkness or a destructive psychopath. Instead, the people who deny their own feelings of anger make me scared. When that soup keeps brewing and growing inside a high pressure kettle, one becomes a walking time bomb."

"An angry person is angry. The one who denies one's anger can't accept the feelings of anger in him/herself, not to talk about the other person's anger: an angry person is to an anger-denier a mad and destructive being. Being angry is demonised. An angry person is seen nearly as a monster, whereas one's own angry behaviour is seen as something of a Mother Theresa or a Dalai Lama. Ms. Jekyll feels like she's encountering Ms. Hyde."

"How can a child learn to handle the feelings of anger and express those in a correct way, if s/he doesn't have any healthy example to follow? How is the well-being of a person in a society, where any anger should be suppressed and kept under wraps?"

"Being angry is energetic and normal, and how to control it is an important skill. Being angry protects and destroys, depending exactly on how well one can handle it. Denying it won't improve one's skills to handle it. The passive aggression is the worst bane of human relationships: brooding, keeping silent, stealthy retort, 'forgetting', and other funny ways to vent out that hatred that can't be expressed openly. Passive aggression is also one's rising above, from which position one can handle one's angry neighbour like a little kid who has pooped on the floor -- at same time reinforcing one's own 'goodness', which is in reality merely arrogance."

"For many people conflict or being angry is like a plague, best avoided. Either sacrifing oneself with ongoing concessions (which causes the martyr syndrome and bitterness) or rising above, in other words avoiding." One should "understand that the opposite of love is not being angry but being indifferent".

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Stagnation

There's a sense of overall stagnation in the air, just everywhere I look. Or maybe it's just me. It seems I'm somehow out of touch with most of the things. I'm too tired to amuse myself with the cheap thrills my so called peers occupy their times with. All these artists and musicians (I'm not going to mention any names here); little self-centered, narcissistic cartoon characters, whose little worlds revolve around their own little navels they consider their precious Axis Mundi. And am I just all the same? No, I'm not searching new friends with a talk like this. Often I wonder if these people just secretly loathe me, but playing a smooth, nice guy with a permanent smile glued on my face is just not me. I'm awkward, moody, reticent, nervous and sweat a lot. I smell secret age discrimination. No sweet young thing or a golden boy charming everyone. Narcissism is a disease, and my own special brand of that is not just better or worse than the one I see in those people. They talk smooth and sweet like a bunch of new era Mephistos, but how can I be sure they are not just talking with forked tongues; ready to stab me in the back when the right occasion arises?

Perhaps I'm just paranoid, a control freak who's afraid I'm kicked out of their little sandboxes, cast out from their little games. Perhaps I'm only reflecting my own fears and frustations on them. So, what's the point in playing the game? Ego is a burden.

And talking about stagnation, I think the whole music scene is undergoing a period of one. They still recycle 20-25 year old genres and styles, and it's the biggest thing that's happening in the alternative music now. White, pale middle-class Fenno-Ugric kids in Finland are happy with their shallow, empty, washed-out domestic hiphop sounds, think they're black gangstas living in American inner-city ghettos or wear dreadlocks and try to toast in Finnish about the virtues of eating your vegetables; girls want to be like those Afro-American soul goddesses they see on MTV and do R&B dance routines around their handbags in their expensive sleeveless tops and stretch jeans. The experimental scene has disappeared up in its own rear, gazing intently on their laptops like some crystal balls and miking up their own buttholes for some new interesting acoustics.

What is there for me to do except to wait? Buried in my concrete bunker which sees no light of day; reading, writing, thinking, sleeping, waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Of Psychopathological Cult Leaders

What makes one person to have "charisma" and the other person not? Why will some people gather blind followers around them? And what about the dark side of these charming manipulators? I have known some people like these myself. I try not to be like these people, but sometimes there's a grim suspicion...

From http://www.fwselijah.com/psychopa.htm:

1. Glibness/Superficial charm

Glibness is a hallmark of psychopaths. They are able to use language effortlessly to beguile, confuse, and convince. They are captivating storytellers. They exude self-confidence and are able to spin a web that intrigues others and pulls them into the psychopath's life. Most of all, they are persuasive. Frequently they have the capacity to destroy their critics verbally or disarm them emotionally.

2. Manipulative and Conning

Cult leaders do not recognize the individuality or rights of others, which makes all self-serving behaviors permissible. The hallmark of the psychopath is the psychopathic maneuver; which is essentially interpersonal manipulation "based on charm. The manipulator appears to be helpful, charming, even ingratiating or seductive, but is covertly hostile, domineering....[The victim] is perceived as an aggressor, competitor, or merely as an instrument to be used....The manipulation inevitably becomes the end-all and is no longer qualified by the reality principle." In other words, there are no checks on the psychopath's behavior--anything goes. The Psychopath divides the world into suckers, sinners, and himself. He discharges powerful feelings of terror and rage by dominating and humiliating his victims. He is particularly successful when, through an overlay of charm, he makes an ally of his victim--a process sometimes described as emotional vampirism or emotional terrorism. Examples of this type of manipulation are plentiful in the literature of Jonestown and other cultic groups. It is especially prevalent in the one-on-one cultic relationship, where there is direct involvement with the manipulator.

3. Grandiose Sense of Self

The cult leader enjoys tremendous feelings of entitlement. He believes everything is owed to him as a right. Preoccupied with his own fantasies, he must always be the center of attention. He presents himself as the "Ultimate One" enlightened, a vehicle of God, a genius, the leader of humankind, and sometimes even the most humble of humble. He has an insatiable need for adulation and attendance. His grandiosity may also be a defense against inner emptiness, depression, and a sense of insignificance. Paranoia often accompanies the grandiosity, reinforcing the isolation of the group and the need for protection against a perceived hostile environment. In this way, he creates an us-versus-them mentality.

4. Pathological Lying

Psychopaths lie coolly and easily, even when it is obvious they are being untruthful. It is almost impossible for them to be consistently truthful about either a major or minor issue. They lie for no apparent reason, even when it would seem easier and safer to tell the truth. This is sometimes called "crazy lying." Confronting their lies may provoke an unpredictably incense rage or simply a Buddha-like smile.

Another form of lying common among cult leaders is known as pseudologica fantastica, an extension of pathological lying. Leaders tend to create a complex belief system, often about their own powers and abilities, in which they themselves sometimes get caught up. "It is often difficult to determine whether the lies are an actual delusional distortion of reality or are expressed with the conscious or unconscious intent to deceive. These manipulators are rarely original thinkers. Plagiarists and thieves, they seldom credit the true originators of ideas, often co-opting authorship. They are extremely convincing, forceful in the expression of their views, and talented at passing lie detector tests. For them, objective truth does not exist. The only "truth" is whatever will best achieve the outcome that meets their needs. This type of opportunism is very difficult to understand for those who are not psychopaths. For this reason, followers are more apt to invent or go along with all kinds of explanations and rationales for apparent inconsistencies in behavior "I know my guru must have had a good reason for doing this." "He did it because he loves me even though it hurts."

5. Lack of Remorse, Shame, or Guilt

At the core of the psychopath is a deep-seated rage which is split off (i.e, psychologically separated from the rest of the self) and repressed. Some researchers theorize that this is caused by feeling abandoned in infancy or early childhood. Whatever the emotional or psychological source, psychopaths see those around them as objects, targets, or opportunities, not as people. They do not have friends, they have victims and accomplices-and the latter frequently end as victims. For psychopaths, the ends always justify the means. Thus there is no place for feelings of remorse, shame, or guilt. Cult leaders feel justified in all their actions since they consider themselves the ultimate moral arbiter. Nothing gets in their way.

6. Shallow Emotions

While they may display outbursts of emotion, more often than not they are putting on a calculated response to obtain a certain result. They rarely reveal a range of emotions, and what is seen is superficial at best, pretended at worst. Positive feelings of warmth, joy, love, and compassion are more feigned than experienced. They are unmoved by things that would upset the normal person, while outraged by insignificant matters. They are bystanders to the emotional life of others, perhaps envious and scornful of feelings they cannot have or understand. In the end, psychopaths are cold, with shallow emotions, living in a dark world of their own.

Hiding behind the "mask of sanity," the cult leader exposes feelings only insofar as they serve an ulterior motive. He can witness or order acts of utter brutality without experiencing a shred of emotion. He casts himself in a role of total control, which he plays to the hilt. What is most promised in cults--peace, joy, enlightenment, love, and security are goals that are forever out of reach of the leader, and thus also the followers. Since the leader is not genuine, neither are his promises

7. Incapacity for Love

As the "living embodiment of God's love," the leader is tragically flawed in being unable to either give or receive love. Love substitutes are given instead. A typical example might be the guru's claim that his illness or misfortune (otherwise inconsistent with his enlightened state) is caused by the depth of his compassion for his followers, whereby he takes on their negative karma. Not only are devotees supposed to accept this as proof of his love but also are expected to feel guilt for their failings! It becomes impossible for members to disprove this claim once they have accepted the beliefs of the group.

The leader's tremendous need to be loved is accompanyied by an equally strong disbelief in the love offered him by his followers; hence, the often unspeakably cruel and harsh testing of his devotees. Unconditional surrender is an absolute requirement. In one cult, for example, the mother of two small children was made to tell them nightly that she loved her leader more than them. Later, as a test of her devotion, she was asked to give up custody of her children in order to be allowed to stay with her leader. The guru's love is never tested; it must be accepted at face value.

8. Need for Stimulation

Thrill-seeking behaviors, often skirting the letter or spirit of the law, are common among psychopaths. Such behavior is sometimes justified as preparation for martyrdom "I know I don't have long to live; therefore my time on this earth must be lived to the fullest." "Surely even I am entitled to have fun or sin a little." This type of behavior becomes more frequent as the leader deteriorates emotionally and psychologically--a common occurrence.

Cult leaders live on the edge, constantly testing the beliefs of their followers, often with increasingly bizarre behaviors, punishments, and rules. Other mechanisms of stimulation come in the form of unexpected, seemingly spontaneous outbursts, which usually take the form of verbal abuse and sometimes physical punishment. The psychopath has a cool indifference to things around him, yet his icy coldness can quicky turn into rage, vented on those around him.

9. Callousness/lack of empathy

Psychopaths readily take advantage of others, expressing utter contempt for anyone else's feelings. Someone in distress is not important to them. Although intelligent, perceptive, and quite good at sizing people up, they make no real connections with others. They use their "people skills" to exploit, abuse, and wield power.

Psychopaths are unable to empathize with the pain of their victims. Meanwhile, part of the victims' denial system is the inability to believe that someone they love so much could consciously and callously hurt them. It therefore becomes easier to rationalize the leader's behavior as necessary for the general or individual "good." The alternative for the devotee would be to face the sudden and overwhelming awareness of being victimized, deceived, used. Such a realization would wound the person's deepest sense of self, so as a means of self-protection the person denies the abuse. When and if the devotee becomes aware of the exploitation, it feels as though a tremendous evil has been done, a spiritual rape.

10. Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature

Like small children, many psychopaths have difficulty regulating their emotions. Adults who have temper tantrums are frightening to be around. Rage and abuse, alternating with token expressions of love and approval, produce an addictive cycle for both abuser and abused, as well as create a sense of hopelessness in the latter. This dynamic has also been recognized in relation to domestic abuse and the battering of women. The cult leader acts out with some regularity--often privately, sometimes publicly--usually to the embarrassment and dismay of his followers and other observers. He may act out sexually, aggressively, or criminally, frequently with rage. Who could possibly control someone who believes himself to be all-powerful, all-knowing, and entitled to every wish, someone who has no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for the impact on those around him? Generally this aberrant behavior is a well-kept secret, known only to a few disciples. The others only see perfection. These tendencies are related to the psychopath's need for stimulation and inability to tolerate frustration, anxiety, and depression. Often a leader's inconsistent behavior needs to be rationalized by either the leader or the follower in order to maintain internal consistency. It is often regarded as divinely inspired and further separates the empowered from the powerless.

11. Early Behavior Problems/juvenile delinquency

Psychopaths frequently have a history of behavioral and academic difficulties. They often "get by" academically, conning other students and teachers. Encounters with juvenile authorities are frequent. Equally prevalent are difficulties in peer relationships and developing and keeping friends, marked control problems, and other aberrant behaviors such as stealing, fire setting, and cruelty to others.

12. Irresponsibility/Unreliability

Not concerned about the consequences of their behavior, psychopaths leave behind them the wreckage of others' lives and dreams. They may be totally oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they inflict on others, something which they regard as neither their problem nor their responsibility.

Psychopaths rarely accept blame for their failures or mistakes. Scape goating is common, blaming followers, those outside the group, a member's family, the government, Satan--anyone and everyone but the leader. The blaming may follow a ritualized procedure such as a trial, "hot seat" denunciation, or public confession (either one-on-one or in front of the group). Blame is a powerful reinforcer of passivity and obedience, producing guilt, shame, terror, and conformity in the followers.

13. Promiscuous Sexual behavior/infidelity

Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, polygamy, rape, and sexual acting out of all sorts are frequently practiced by cult leaders. Conversely, there is often stringent sexual control of the followers through such tactics as enforced celibacy, arranged marriages, forced breakups and divorces, removal of children from their parents, forced abortions or mandated births. For psychopaths, sex is primarily a control and power issue.

Along with this behavior comes vast irresponsibility not only for the followers' emotions but also for their lives. In one cult, for example, multiple sexual relations were encouraged even while one of the top leaders was known to be HIV positive. This kind of negligence toward others is not uncommon in the psychopath's world.

Marital fidelity is rare in the psychopath's life. There are usually countless reports of extramarital affairs and sexual predation upon adult and child members of both sexes. The sexual behavior of the leader may be kept hidden from all but the inner circle or may be part of accepted group sexual practices. In any case, due to the power imbalance between leader and followers, sexual contact is never truly consensual and is likely to have damaging consequences for the follower.

14. Lack of realistic life plan/parasitic lifestyle

The psychopath tends to move around a lot, making countless efforts at "starting over while seeking out Fertile new ground to exploit. One day he may appear as a rock musician, the next a messiah; one day a used car salesman, the next the founder of a mass self-transformation program; one day a college professor, the next the new "Lenin" bringing revolution to America.

The flip side of this erratic life planning is the all-encompassing promise for the future that the cult leader makes to his followers. Many groups claim as their goal world domination or salvation at the Apocalypse. The leader is the first to proclaim the utopian nature of the group, which is usually simply another justification for irrational behavior and stringent controls.

The leader's sense of entitlement is often demonstrated by the contrast between his luxurious lifestyle and the impoverishment of his followers. Most cult leaders arc supported by gifts and donations from their followers, who may be pressured to turn over much of their income and worldly possessions to the group. Slavery, enforced prostitution, and a variety of illegal acts for the benefit of the leader are common in a cult milieu. This type of exploitation aptly demonstrates Lifton's third point of idealization from below and exploitation from above.

Psychopaths also tend to be preoccupied with their own health while remaining totally indifferent to the suffering of others. They may complain of being "burned out" due to the burden of "caring for" their followers, sometimes stating they do not have long to live, instilling fear and guilt in their devotees and encouraging further servitude. they are highly sensitive to their own pain and tend to be hypochondriacs, which often conflicts with their public image of superhuman self-control and healing abilities.

According to them, the illnesses they don't get are due to their powers, while the ones they do get are caused by their "compassion" in taking on their disciples' karma or solving the group's problems. This of course is another guru trick.

15. Criminal or entrepreneurial versatility

Cult leaders change their image and that of the group as needed to avoid prosecution and litigation, to increase income, and to recruit a range of members. Cult leaders have an innate ability to attract followers who have the skills and connections that the leaders lack. The longevity of the group is dependent on the willingness of leadership to adapt as needed and preserve the group. Frequently, when illegal or immoral activities are exposed to the public, the cult leader will relocate, sometimes taking followers with him. He will keep a low profile, only to resurface later with a new name, a new front group, and perhaps a new twist on the scam.


See also:

Without Conscience

Saturday, August 21, 2004

VH-1 UK All-Time Worst No.1s

VH-1 UK All-Time Worst No.1s

1 - Cliff Richard 'Millennium Prayer'
2 - Mr Blobby 'Mr Blobby'
3 - Teletubbies 'Teletubbies Say Eh-oh!'
4 - Aqua 'Barbie Girl'
5 - Eamon 'F**k It (I Don't Want You Back)'
6 - Las Ketchup 'The Ketchup Song (Asereje)'
7 - Blazin' Squad 'Crossroads'
8 - Bob The Builder 'Can We Fix It'
9 - Frankee 'F.U.R.B (F U Right Back)'
10 - Peter Andre 'Mysterious Girl'
11 - Gareth Gates 'Unchained Melody'
12 - Will Young & Gareth Gates 'The Long And Winding Road / Suspicious Minds'
13 - Joe Dolce Music Theatre 'Shuddap You Face'
14 - DJ Otzi 'Hey Baby'
15 - Afroman 'Because I Got High'
16 - Will Young 'Light My Fire'
17 - Mariah Carey & Westlife 'Against All Odds'
18 - Bombalurina 'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini'
19 - DJ Casper 'Cha Cha Slide'
20 - Busted 'Who's David'
21 - Manchester United 1994 Football Squad 'Come On You Reds'
22 - St Winifred's School Choir 'There's No-one Quite Like Grandma'
23 - Hear'Say 'Pure And Simple'
24 - Vanilla Ice 'Ice Ice Baby'
25 - Vengaboys 'We're Going To Ibiza'
26 - Hanson 'Mmmbop'
27 - Michelle McManus 'All This Time'
28 - Whigfield 'Saturday Night'
29 - Spitting Image 'The Chicken Song'
30 - B*Witched 'C'est La Vie'
31 - Billie 'Because We Want To'
32 - Chris de Burgh 'The Lady In Red'
33 - Kylie Minogue I Should Be So Lucky'
34 - Baz Luhrmann 'Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)'
35 - McFly 'Five Colours In Her Hair'
36 - Vengaboys 'Boom Boom Boom Boom'
37 - 2 Unlimited 'No Limit'
38 - Sam & Mark 'With A Little Help From My Friends /
Measure Of A Man'
39 - So Solid Crew '21 Seconds'
40 - Cliff Richard 'Mistletoe & Wine'
41 - The Firm 'Star Trekkin'
42 - Gary Barlow 'Forever Love'
43 - Geri Halliwell 'It's Raining Men'
44 - A1 'Take On Me'
45 - Mr Oizo 'Flat Beat'
46 - Bob The Builder 'Mambo No 5'
47 - Eiffel 65 'Blue (Da Ba Dee)'
48 - Five and Queen 'We Will Rock You'
49 - Girls Aloud 'Sound Of The Underground'
50 - Nick Berry 'Every Loser Wins'
51 - Rednex 'Cotton Eye Joe'
52 - Spice Girls 'Holler'
53 - Steps Tragedy'
54 - Aqua 'Doctor Jones'
55 - Glenn Medeiros 'Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You'
56 - Doop 'Doop'
57 - Geri Halliwell 'Bag It Up'
58 - Robson Green & Jerome Flynn 'Unchained Melody'
59 - Babylon Zoo 'Spaceman'
60 - Lionel Richie 'Hello'
61 - A1 'Same Old Brand New You'
62 - Simpsons 'Do The Bartman'
63 - LMC V U2 'Take Me To The Clouds Above'
64 - Take That featuring Lulu 'Relight my Fire'
65 - Chef 'Chocolate Salty Balls (PS I Love You)'
66 - Cliff Richard 'Saviour's Day'
67 - DJ Pied Piper 'Do You Really Like It'
68 - Europe 'The Final Countdown'
69 - Gina G 'Ooh Aah... Just A Little Bit'
70 - Kylie Minogue & Jason Donovan 'Especially For
You'
71 - Barbra Streisand 'Woman In Love'
72 - Color Me Badd 'I Wanna Sex You Up'
73 - Hale & Pace 'The Stonk'
74 - Martine McCutcheon 'Perfect Moment'
75 - Goombay Dance Band 'Seven Tears'
76 - Shaggy 'Oh Carolina'
77 - Tight Fit 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight'
78 - Billie 'Girlfriend'
79 - Bluebells 'Young At Heart'
80 - Emma Bunton 'What Took You So Long'
81 - Nena '99 Red Balloons'
82 - Right Said Fred 'Deeply Dippy'
83 - Steps 'Stomp'
84 - Wamdue Project 'King Of My Castle'
85 - Ace Of Base 'All That She Wants'
86 - David Bowie & Mick Jagger 'Dancing in the Streets'
87 - Enya 'Orinoco Flow'
88 - New Kids On The Block 'You Got It (The Right Stuff)'
89 - Outhere Brothers 'Boom Boom Boom'
90 - O1ide & Neutrino 'Bound 4 Da Reload (Casualty)'
91 - Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder 'Ebony And Ivory'
92 - Spacedust 'Gym & Tonic'
93 - B*Witched 'Blame It On The Weatherman'
94 - Bucks Fizz 'Making Your Mind Up'
95 - Cliff Richard & The Young Ones 'Living Doll'
96 - Falco 'Rock Me Amadeus'
97 - B*Witched 'Rollercoaster'
98 - Tiffany 'I Think We're Alone Now'
99 - Jason Donovan 'Too Many Broken Hearts'
100 - Hear'Say 'The Way To Your Love'

Friday, August 20, 2004

Culture Is The New Politics

"Since politics have left the realm of visions by becoming a management of economics, culture has to replace politics by taking its visionary spirit. That's why art is so important today. Artists have to take the responsibility to change unified minds and to give them back a visionary feeling of politics in the original sense: the matter of the singular citizen in correspondence to society's interest. Culture is not luxury, culture is the new politics in opposition to pure economics."

- Felix Kubin in his interview to The Wire magazine, September 2004

Friday, August 13, 2004

Jori Hulkkonen On The State Of Club Culture

Jori Hulkkonen starts as a new columnist for the Nyt weekend supplement of Helsingin Sanomat, the largest daily newspaper in Finland. Here is his first column.

For non-Finnish readers, it's about the stagnation of club culture: Jori argues that the people who used to be club regulars have reached their middle-ages and would rather stay home with their own families than go clubbing any more, and "for the new generation hiphop, r&b and the so called new coming of rock music are more fascinating that the club circus run by the thirty-somethings".

I think this is quite symptomatic for this age: we have reached an era that could be called "post-techno" or "post-rave"; it seems that there is no more similar culture of rave/techno/clubs that was prevalent about ten or fifteen years ago. There does exist some sort of new generation of ravers/clubbers with their popular genres of "kiksu"/"polkka" (= as trance variants are called in Finland), but for me that culture is just a pale shadow or a sort of bloodless re-tread of what it used to be in the early-to-mid-90s. And it's true that young kids in Finland are probably more interested these days in hiphop, r&b or Jamaica sounds (reggae/dancehall), or even retro styles of funk and soul.

Probably much more interesting things in electronic music are happening elsewhere, in what could be called "post-techno" (IDM-glitch-noise-minimal-experimental-illbient-postlounge-lowercase sound-etc., even "post-rock" variants -- new music becoming influenced by the yesteryear experimentations -- different new mutations of electro & techno and so on. And how about drum'n'bass?) But the 90s type rave/techno culture of "PLUR", "Peace, Love & Pancakes"/Love Parade/Mayday, etc. is dead and gone when we have reached the year of 2004; killed by commerciality, drugs peddlers, thieving magpie media having found new interests like new rock bands recycling old styles, and of course pure boredom; and something else is busy taking their place now.

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

In The Meanwhile

I don't have much to write to this blog these days, so if you're interested in what else I'm up to, check out pHinnWeb's own mailing list for my latest rumbles:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/phinnweb/