Monday, June 28, 2004

Hang On To Your Ego

"I know so many people who think they can do it alone
They isolate their heads and stay in their safety zones

Now what can you tell them
And what can you say that won't make them defensive

Hang on to your ego
Hang on, but I know that you're gonna lose the fight

They come on like their peaceful
But inside they're so uptight
They trip through the day
And waste all their thoughts at night

Now how can I say it
And how can I come on
When I know I'm guilty

Hang on to your ego
Hang on, but I know that you're gonna lose the fight"
- Brian Wilson


Music enables me to create an autistic safety zone around me. Other safety zones: books, writing, films, art. The whole pHinnWeb in fact: I'm the Wizard of Oz. The reality of a schizoid man. I've created this whole armour around me (some smart Alec once called the Net a "reality condom"). When I'm DJing, I'm in my own spaceship, very far from this Earth. It's somehow easier than to function with people, without the need to come out all defensive. I'm aware of my condition; somehow, you get used to your solitude with your imaginary friends, and it won't feel that sad. It's like tightrope walking: don't think about the abyss beneath you -- if you start to think, you fall.