Sunday, May 16, 2004


Well, sometimes it seems to me people are just selfish, egotistic, narcissistic and
self-centered; their world revolves around their own navel exclusively, and no one is really interested what anyone else has to say, and unable to see things from anyone else's point of view. I know this is the usual bane of creative people especially, and I can't claim I would be anything better myself. When you have this compulsive passion to create things, you also create your own private world, and it easily gets harder to see outside; other people just become vehicles for your personal goals; they're of use to you or they are not. I could find tons of banal explanations, such as this time just nourishes this sort of narcissism, with its cult of "me me me", but maybe I'll leave analysing the general social psychopathology to people who are smarter than me.

I can't afford to cast first stones here. I know I've got myself a big ego and a lot of personal ambition, and I know I have pissed off people on many occasions, treading on their toes, just because of those personals traits of mine. But I'd like to justify myself by saying that at least I hope what I do would somehow benefit someone else too. It all goes in one big ambiguous package, selfishness and unselfishness. Just one personal goal now: learning to listen to people better.